In the month since my last post:

1. All but 1 of my friends from Flight School tried out for the League, and we were all accepted as New Chicks.

2. At tryouts, I was evaluated as “Track Ready” – which meant that my basic abilities are sufficient enough that I can skate with the big girls (as I call them). Not only do I have permission to attend Chicks practices with all my newbie friends, I also have permission to attend League practices and scrimmages. And it’s expected that I will.

3. I participated in my first scrimmage and, just as I expected, my anxiety went sky-high to the point that I practically dissolved into a drooling, blubbering idiot. I was NOT having fun, and I couldn’t hide it.

Did I join a roller derby league to have fun? Well, you may not believe me but…no. I didn’t. Not at all.

I knew it would be fun most of the time, sure – and it is. Totally exhilirating and life-changing, in fact. But the real reason why I chose to do it, the thing that is going to force me into my skates tonight for my second scrimmage even though I’m tempted to take my aching legs to the spa instead, is that I want to build character by facing something I fear.

Anyone who knows me knows that physically, I’m fairly tough. Anyone who knows me well also knows that psychologically, I am anxious.

Anxiety can be crippling, and I have the choice to either passively sit by and let it get me, or feel the fear and do it anyway. Roller derby is giving me a tremendous opportunity to scare myself shitless, challenge the fear, achieve some breakthroughs, and grow stronger.

What does it mean to feel high anxiety when I skate?
The first time I ever stepped up onto the banked track, my heart was racing, my breath was shallow, and my entire body was shaking so badly I almost fell over. Can you believe that? Just from stepping on the track!
The first time I scrimmaged, same thing: heart racing, shallow breathing, and shaking. The whole time. Plus, I couldn’t think. At all. And thinking is critical to this fast-paced, dangerous contact sport. If you can’t think, you can’t hit, you can’t juke, you can’t “fall small”, and you sure as hell can’t jam. Mae Lay - one of the founders of our League, a lovely skater and even more lovely person - sympathized with my “jamnesia”, assuring me that it’s normal and that I’ll probably have it for a while. I almost cried at one point from all the emotional stress.

So scrimmaging is where the real work lies for me – and it’s time to get organized. The experienced skaters in the league have all advised goal setting, and the articles I skimmed today on sport psychology recommend it as well…so here we go. I will choose 1 goal to focus on at each scrimmage from here on out, and will report back on how I do.

•  Stay low.   Got it. Moving on.
• Smile. No, seriously.
• Watch the jammer and tell everyone where she is.
• Watch my elbows and hands. I have a horrible knack for grabbing my friends in the most inappropriate places when I lose my balance and it’s embarrassing and rude, not to mention illegal, to be grabbing anybody. I don’t know what it is about Jarin’s boobs but my flailing hands ended up there no fewer than 3 times during the scrimmage. I felt awful – she was a champ about it.
• Give real hip checks, both up and down. This means getting my leg out in front of the girl I’m hitting, and keeping my arms out of the way when I hit.
• Evade/avoid hits, rather than standing there like a tree stump and taking them. I can take all the power out of a scary girl’s hit if I just move against it!
• Hit when I’m jamming, to get people out of my way. I’m treating the pack too much like a glade of trees that I’m skiing through – and the problem with that is that unlike trees, the girls move around in tight formations that have to be broken apart in order to pass.

Those 6 are all I can think of for now, and frankly I think that’s a fine place to start. So next time you see me, you can ask me: did you remember to SMILE at your second-ever scrimmage?

Ah, derby fashion.

The fishnets. The short shorts and flirty skirts. The leopard print duct tape, the tattoos. What a fun thing of beauty it is to see how some of these women do it up! And then…there’s me.

I’ve got potential to get some super-cute derby style going on, no doubt. But I tend to be a “tattoos under the clothes” kind of girl, and I fear  rink rash of any kind, but especially the kind that comes from skidding down the track in fishnets. So for the time being, I’m sticking to yoga tights, sport tanks, and my newest little inexpensive addiction: derby socks.

These socks are my new favorites – even though they make me think of Captain Underpants, that obnoxious little superhero from the children’s book series.

I am kicking so much ass in Flight School!

Everyone in Flight School has been doing so well – we’re having a blast, working hard, and seem to be meeting or exceeding our coaches’ expectations. I’ve been impressed and grateful for the amazing attitude and spirit that everyone brings to practice, and it’s fun to see how far we’ve come in just a few short weeks. These girls are so much fun. I’m having the time of my life.

Now, I know I’ve been MIA on the blog since I started Flight School and you might be wondering where I’ve been…well DUH, I’ve been SKATING! Skating, dreaming about skating, thinking about skating, wishing I were skating. I’m totally in love.

So here’s a short list of the things we’ve learned in the 2 weeks we’ve been skating the banked track:

Safe stopping: taking a knee, turning around in the infield, plow stops, t-stops
Getting into position: duck walking and toe-stop walking up the track. The first time I stepped on the track I was so excited and nervous I was shaking from head to toe – and now, it’s  already  starting to feel like second nature.
Agility: side-stepping up and down, crossovers (ahem, yes Gary, strides in a turn), and even a little backwards skating! Yes! I skated backwards on the banked track! And rail kicks. Which are rad, too difficult to explain here and good luck finding a video demo on YouTube…
Speed: using physics to make the most of that beautiful banked track by cornering low. Steady, hard strides.
Pace line and worm: We skated together last night for several minutes in a long, single file line, 2 arm-lengths from each other, and took turns weaving through the pace line from the back to the front. The line was surprisingly even. We did great!

So when will you see these moves in action?!!

I’m afraid I’m not sure.

Out of respect for everyone’s privacy and safety, we’re pretty strict about sharing what goes on inside the Aviary (ooh, the mystique!). I might take my little video camera sometime soon and ask if it’s ok with the coach and the girls for me to take some footage…so stay tuned. I’m sure you want to see more than just a silly picture of my socks.

T-minus one month to Tilted Thunder tryouts…”feeling good, Lewis!”

-JA

Ladies and gentlemen, as it would turn out, roller derby is NOT cheap.

I shouldn’t be too surprised by this I guess, especially given my lifelong penchant for bourgeois sports. I attract them like flies to honey: downhill skiing, snowboarding, waterskiing, scuba diving, aerial arts…if the price tag is in the quadruple-plus digits, I’ve probably tried it. Or wanted to. Or will.

My derby spend isn’t in the thousands yet, but I’m just getting started. I’m very fortunate to have a decent-paying job, so I’m in a position to spend this kind of money – but not without sacrifice. I definitely feel the pinch, and am letting other things go so I can afford to do this (no dance or yoga, fewer dinners out,  less live music and travel).

I’m sure there are lots of girls out there who wish they had the scratch to play, so believe me: I know that I’m lucky. And, our local organizations really do try to help out with the costs:

• Rat City, Tilted Thunder and PFM – all 501(c)3 nonprofit organizations – are totally reasonable in terms of what they charge for boot camps and trainings. I feel like I more than get my money’s worth there.
• Fast Girl Skates offers a generous discount to girls participating in PFM or a local league, and they sell some gear on consignment too.

Killer Pads, Triple 8 helmet with a lucky number 8 sticker from Beijing for good measure.

All that said, here’s a look at what I estimate that roller derby has cost me in my first two months to get started:

Gear:
First trip to Fast Girl: Reidell R3 quad skates, the least expensive entry-level skates that aren’t total crap. Outdoor wheels, badass pads, and a cheap mouthguard so huge I looked like a gorilla and couldn’t talk: $285
Second trip, a few weeks later:  snazzy new helmet so I don’t have to be the one dufus in an old-school bike helmet anymore, mouthguard upgrade, toe stop upgrade (Gumballs), athletic tape and bunion pad (I know, eew): $100
Subtotal: $385
I will want better wristguards soon, I imagine. And heaven help me if I keep skating and need to buy better skates; they get REALLY expensive.

PFM practices in Ballard:
Average 1 practice per week for 10 weeks at $8/practice: $80
Gas, for getting to and from the track which is pretty much the other side of the world from Cap Hill: $4 per trip, my car is a beat-up old gas-guzzler and gas is $4/gallon out here. $40
Subtotal: $120
Gas spend is about to dramatically increase too, since I’ll be skating 2-4 times per week from here on out. Time to figure out a carpool.

Boot camp:
Tilted Thunder Rail Birds Flight School admission: $150
USARS insurance $20
Subtotal: $170
I’ll have to give USARS $45 come January 1st if I’m still skating, to cover insurance for the next year. And there will be League dues.

GRAND TOTAL SPEND  TO DATE ON  THIS MY LATEST PASSION: $675

The things we do for love.

When I showed up to skate last night, I could tell that Makin’ Bacon – Rat City’s annual boot camp – must be over. There were more girls at practice than I’ve ever seen at PFM. It was nuts.

And, we had Coach Tyfoyed Gary from Tilted Thunder leading the practice. Boy, did we get worked.

Duck run - turn out your legs, get crazy, pump your arms and run!

Ducks Do Run
We spent a good amount of time on duck running – and now I understand something new about skating derby: always keep your feet moving, because coasting = decelerating.

A good duck run will vault you forward any time you need a burst of speed. And the trick is to learn to do it while maintaining a low profile - because as soon as you stand up to run, you’re signaling to all the other skaters that you’re on the move and your center of gravity is up. Which makes for a great opportunity to get knocked on your ass.

25-in-5 – or, “skate til you puke”

A new favorite drill of mine, though I had incomplete information and kind of did it wrong.
The goal is to do 25 laps in 5 minutes, which is quite fast and sustained for a newbie. A skating buddy counted laps for me while I pushed as hard as I could around the track…and when I hit 25 laps, I quit when I should have kept going! Ah – it’s a minimum of 25 laps. I bet I could have done at least 30. Next time.

Fancy bondage for the feet: lacing techniques

Now that I’ve been to a few practices, I’m really starting to settle into my skates and I’ve noticed that I’m wearing them kind of sloppy and loose. I’m skating fast and hard enough now that I want to snug my skates down tight so I’m closer to my trucks and have better control.

Julie told me there are a number of ways to lace your skates – and a little web research revealed dozens of different methods. Ian’s Shoelace site is a blog all about shoelaces! I guess there’s a blog for everything. And Ian posted a piece about 36 different methods for lacing your shoes/skates/whatever.

Check out this thread from the Naptown Rollergirls where they discuss their lacing needs and preferences.

Next Up:

Gotta get rid of the nerdy bike helmet, uncomfortable mouthguard and crappy toe stops before flight school. Shopping, anyone?

Last weekend, a glimpse of summer came to Seattle. I bet it’s safe to assume this has been the coldest, lousiest, shortest summer we’ve had since I moved here, so when the temperature snuck above 80 degrees I pretty much went bananas.

Colman Pool on a rare summer day in West Seattle.

My friend Hillary met me for a trip to Colman Pool, where we lounged and blissed out until it was time for me to leave for derby practice. Ugh.

I was less than thrilled to be leaving the sun to go skate – but when I signed on for this whole derby thing, I promised myself I would never miss an opportunity to skate unless I was sick, or injured, or had some other major and legitimate reason for skipping.

I guess the sun was legitimate reason enough last weekend. I was almost on the West Seattle Bridge when my friend Jake called me for a barbecue. I flipped a U and drove straight to his house, ditching practice to sit in the sun, eat ribs and drink booze, and nap with my friends. It was perfect.

With PFM, it’s ok to say no sometimes. The program is for everyone from die-hard skaters to women who are just there for the fun and the exercise (it’s VERY welcoming, so anyone who ever wants to try derby shouldn’t think twice about trying PFM!).

And besides: one month from now, I’ll be in Flight School and Tilted Thunder will pretty much own my ass for a month and a half, if not longer…fingers crossed.

Last night, I went to my first PFM practice – and it will definitely NOT be my last. What fun!

Trucks
We’re not permitted to lollygag at the Rat’s Nest, so getting the gear on and off is a real hustle. Doors open only 10min before practice, to minimize the distraction of girls coming and going, chatting and hanging out while others are practicing on the track.

I’m slow with my gear, and I wanted to loosen my trucks a quarter turn (this allows the skates to flex from side to side – when you buy new skates the trucks are usually tightened to the max for stability, and I was ready to try loosening up) so by the time I got onto the track I had to jump right into my first train…or chain, or whatever you want to call it.

Chains
There were ~20 girls at PFM last night, so the track was crowded. A little scary for this newbie. We started by skating together in a single-file line, and I had to maintain an easy arm’s reach from the girl in front of me the whole time. A good challenge in controlling my speed and maintaining position. The chain moved slowly around the track, but we took turns sprinting from the front of the line to the back – and that was blissfully exhausting. My whole body was shaking and I was sweating by the end.

Then, on into more drills for building skills, strength and balance…the 2 hours just sped by.

A little surprise
I learned new techniques for my crossover that made me faster and smoother on the track, and it turns out I’m a lot slower than I thought I was. The experienced girls kept gliding by, sometimes lapping me – looking lovely and impressive. I’m surprised to find so much nuance in everything I’ve learned so far. The smallest adjustment – like the tiniest flick of an inside ankle, or rotating your torso in toward the center of the track – makes the hugest difference.

Whips

Freeze tag!
Now this REALLY had me grinning like an idiot! We finished with a gentle and friendly game of freeze tag. 4 taggers on the track would occasionally ”freeze” us with a light touch (if they could catch us). We could only be unfrozen if another skate ducked and slid underneath our legs. Looking forward to more games like this.

What’s next…
Skating on Saturday again, and continuing to get ready for Tilted Thunder’s Flight School – just registered!

This morning I woke up with a truly enjoyable ache in my hip flexors, and mercifully, no other aches anywhere else.

Yesterday I attended my first New Skater practice with Potential Fresh Meat, and it was not at all what I was expecting – in that I went into it fearing I’d hate it and/or get hurt…and I ended up feeling more safe and confident on my skates and having more fun than I could have imagined. It was a total blast.

What I experienced:

I was nervous and shy when I walked in. The girls all seemed incredibly nice, everyone was smiling, it was a surprisingly mellow scene. Despite the usual self-inflicted snafus – I stayed too late downtown with friends, I’d forgotten to switch out my outdoor skates for indoor, I got kinda lost trying to find the Rat’s Nest, and I forgot my $8 cash for practice – I made it onto the track on time.

The track is plastic tile on concrete, and it felt much smoother under my skates than the rough pavement on Alki Beach. I was in control and surprised myself by keeping steady pretty much the whole time. Thank you, abdominals.

Skating is an amazing workout for core muscles; it’s pretty much where all the strength, balance and agility comes from when you skate. Legs are just the pistons, ankles the delicate axles. My tummy was pretty much flexed the whole time.

Practice ran for 2 hours, and we covered only the most simple and critical fundamentals:

1. The “derby stance” (slight crouch, weight centered, butt down and out)

2. The T-stop (more like an L than a T)

3. The plow stop (just like ski school as a kid)

4. Taking a knee (a fancy-looking and fun way to stop, especially with a spin)

The 2 hours sped by, and I loved it! We had fun together. Everyone was so great, attitudes were awesome. I looked good (I think) and felt good – which is why when my name wasn’t called for “graduation”, meaning I passed the fundamentals and could move on to general practices with PFM, I was a little confused. Damn – if I didn’t pass, I’d have to wait until September to come back!

And then my name got called. I passed! And now I can go on to general practices, twice a week, with Potential Fresh Meat.

What I learned:

1. The people running the show at PFM are super-rigorous about safety. I was so grateful for the way they thoroughly checked my gear (included my stupid-looking bike helmet) before I first stepped on the track, the excruciatingly slow pace of the training, and the many experienced/expert volunteers who were there to observe and help. It seemed like for every 3 newbies on the track, there was 1 experienced person on watch.

2. I left feeling pretty darn good about myself – too good, I think. I need to be knocked back into reality, and soon. I may have passed New Skater with flying colors but I have a very, VERY long way to go and I know it. The techniques I’m learning will have to be repeated a million times toward perfection if I’m going to be any good.

We’ll see how cocky I’m feeling when I actually fall for the first time, or take a hit.

3. Women actually fly in from other parts of the country to try out for the Rat City Rollergirls! I’m in way over my head if I think I’m going to make the cut in a few short weeks. I knew Rat City would be competitive. I don’t know why it didn’t occur to me it would be THIS competitive. It doesn’t mean I won’t try out if I feel ready…but it definitely means I’m readjusting my expectations. Continually.

And, even if I do make the cut for Rat City, it means I go to the Rat Lab – which is sort of their JV training team that feeds the league teams. This sounds like a very strategic and prudent way to give good and dedicated skaters the opportunity to build skills, train hard, and then move onto a team – but it also sounds like a place where I could wind up, um, spinning my wheels for a long, long time. Something to contemplate for sure.

4. There’s also banked track in Seattle – the Tilted Thunder Rail Birds. I’m meeting a Rail Bird this afternoon before her practice to learn about this league…maybe banked track will be my calling instead? They practice in Ballard, just like Rat City. Totally doable. I think the league may be smaller and therefore might be less overwhelming, and the timeline for tryouts aligns much better with where I’m at; their boot camp, charmingly named “Flight School”, is in October.

What’s next:

Finding the will to skate on my own sometime before practice this week on Thursday and Saturday with PFM.
xoxoj

I’ve secretly wanted to try out for the Rat City Rollergirls for years – but there was always an excuse not to. Then, suddenly this summer, I looked around and couldn’t find any of those excuses anymore and I realized it was now or never.

I finally have health insurance that I’m pretty sure I can trust (thank you, Projectline).

I’m not getting any younger, and I’m still pretty fit, strong, and lustful for speed.

I don’t have a steady partner for climbing or skiing, so I’m running an adrenaline deficit.

And, as a matter of principle, I have GOT to try it because I said I would. And because I’m afraid.

The thought of skating in derby scares the ever living shit out of me, and with good reason: it’s dangerous (yet not as dangerous as cheerleading, go figure). I’m a little ashamed of being the sort of maniac who would risk teeth and limbs for some fun and excitement – but really, I’ve always been this way. And, fortunately, I’ve also always been good at judging when I’ve reached my limit, so if it gets to be too much, I’ll get out. And at least I’ll know I’ve tried.

I figured my mom might get pissed and…she’s pissed. My dad – a family doctor – is a little pissed too. And I may have unfairly permitted them to breathe a small sigh of relief when I told them I’d been politely turned away from Makin’ Bacon, Rat City’s annual derby camp (I’d have to miss the first half of camp, there’s no way I could catch up) - because there are other ways for me to learn how to skate in time for tryouts, and I’m already dialed in.

So, this is Week One on the quads.
Tryouts for Rat City are sometime in mid-September and I have absolutely no clue if I can ramp up in time…but I’m going to give it a shot. Here we go!

Today, I got up super-early and worked almost a full day before 1pm so I could hit Alki Beach for some sunshine and a shakedown skate. Here’s where I’m at:

Sheeza Brickhouse and me at Fastgirl Skates in Wallingford

First fall: check. Took care of that in the store yesterday when I put the skates on for the first time. Landed on my ass – in a skirt. It didn’t hurt a bit and it’s not like I knew how to fall properly, so maybe this one doesn’t count…but I’m going to say that is does. Sheeza Brickhouse was the sweetest, most helpful and attentive gal, and Fastgirl Skates gave me an awesome Fresh Meat discount since I’ll be skating with PFM shortly.

Protective gear: surprisingly comfortable but scwheaty. I paid a little extra for 187 Killer Pads because I didn’t want to go with the cheap-o fresh meat starter pack. Totally worth it. Gotta be uncompromising with the protection. The knee pads are HUGE, which is really comforting. Must confess I left the mouth guard out though; just not ready for all that drooling.

Miles skated: approximately 4, on Alki. Gorgeous! I took a couple tentative steps, breathing deeply and concentrating on keeping my body relaxed and my shoulders positioned directly above my ankles, torso straight, knees bent. It wasn’t too long before I was cruising, and even “sprinting” a little bit. I will start further north next time though. Quad skates are heavy and the wheels absorb less shock than the rollerblades I’d grown accustomed to, and I felt every break in the sidewalk; the path is paved smooth further north near the beach.

Stopping: check, thank goodness! I have a decent snowplow. My t-stop is a little chunky but it works. Easier on smooth surfaces than grainy pavement.

Crossover: check, in both directions. Slowly, and also “running”. This is a good sign…

So there you have it; I can basically skate. I’ll need to work hard to build my technique, learn the rules of derby, and then, oh yeah…start taking hits.

No biggie. I’ve totally got this.

Next step: Potential Fresh Meat new-skater practice on Aug 13, after I return from a week in Traverse City with Mom and Dad – assuming they don’t tie me down and refuse to let me come back home, that is.

xoxo

As is true of most people I know, I lead a pretty filtered life online. My Facebook updates are cheerful, my Tweets are downright sterile, and my LinkedIn profile is both cheerful and sterile. Fun times.

The deeply personal/potentially ruinous ravings go only to my 5 closest friends in the form of a Gmail, and since the deeply personal has been my topic-realm of choice since Matt and I broke up last month, my email account has recently been enjoying the best action it’s seen in years.

In response to my ravings, one of my girlfriends always signs off by telling me I should be blogging this stuff because I tell such good stories. I’m a sucker for flattery, but I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to air my dirty laundry in public – not even anonymously. I know just enough to be paranoid about the welfare of my reputation and identity, but not nearly enough to confidently protect it if I want to go uncensored.

So, since I’ve completely tapped my China trip for blog fodder, it’s time to move on to new stories that will be equally, if not more, entertaining, valuable and…safe. I’m going to prove, like so many others do so much better and so much more often on their own blogs, that safe doesn’t have to be boring!

I hope.

Future topics are brewing already – want to follow me through the whole experience, beginning to end, when I try out for the Rat City Rollergirls this year? I don’t even own a pair of skates. This could be fun, and OH, SH*T! I literally just discovered that the Makin’ Bacon Boot Camp is next month. I need to get my butt registered.

Fortunately, my company is very much in the social media space and they’re enthusiastically supporting any and all (appropriate) attempts to engage with blogging, tweeting, updating, etc. and I’m doing my level best to get into it. It helps when we have Book Club reads like the one suggested for this month by Brian Johnson, a fellow Projectliner who has a  Master of Communication in Digital Media from the University of Washington: it’s called “Storyteller Uprising” and you can read all ~100 pages here for free. Nothing like a short, to-the-point and FREE book to seal my participation this month.

So, here we go. Time to learn what it means to be a great Storyteller in the modern, digital age while still…saving your bacon.

xoxoj